New Presidential Qualifications

It appears that we can settle these pesky campaigns with a bowl-off or a really high stakes pot game.

Rick Santorum is stepping up his game against GOP front-runner Mitt Romney. Unable yet to strike his opponent from the presidential race, Santorum is calling for a throwdown with Romney on a stage he dominates: the bowling alley.

If this is the new way to solve presidential campaign issues, even I could pick up a few delegates. Of course, campaigning in bowling centers across the Midwest would endear one to the heart of America's bowling community.

“He’s quite the bowler,” says spokeswoman Alice Stewart. Santorum’s roots are deep in the sport. He studied Bowling 101 at Penn State University, has shot a high game of 241 (out of 300) and opened one recent game with seven straight strikes. He even has his own bowling ball.

Now I know I am qualified to be President of the United States. I didn't have to 'study' bowling at Memphis State. It was an easy 'A' as one only had to average 130 by the end of the semester. I own more than one bowling ball, so I can bypass the Senate!

Of course, bowling is not a presidential qualification. All you have to do is look at the current occupant in the White House.

While attempting to woo blue collar voters in Pennsylvania, the Democratic frontrunner bowled a 37, while rolling several balls into the gutter.

As any league bowler will tell you, a score of 37 probably includes rolling more than several balls into the gutter!